Proclamation #1

Let it be known...

that I do not care for the sensation of cold feet in a hot shower.

That is a feeling that I do not wish upon any human...friend or foe.

Cowboy Monkey

Suzanne | Ross | Tom | Emily | Kara | Brian | Brad | Cat | Joseph | Linsey | Trisha | Myself

The 12 of us went to the Toughest Cowboy Rodeo over the weekend. We all piled in the cars with our getup and garb and made our way to the Gwinnett Arena. I wore my cowboy hat and my big Georgia G belt buckle...at first I was worried that I would be outed as an impostor (because, you see, I am no cowboy), but no one seemed to notice...either that or there were several more impostors in the mix and they were in the same position.
Only after watching the events of the rodeo did we figure out that we were indeed part of some sort of whack Rodeo Bachelor Reality TV Show. The cowboys were competing for some ranch land out in Montana, and each week they would add the 3 scores of their rides up (bareback horse, saddled horse, and bull), with the two lowest scorers having to go mano a mano in an elimination round. I tittered a lot. Especially when the rose ceremony started (ok, there wasn't really a rose ceremony, but it felt like it...spotlights, a straight line where the cowboys had to step forward, and one saying his goodbyes and walking into the sunset as he went to "hang his jersey.")

By far, the best part of the evening was in between the rodeo parts:

1. Kids tried to ride sheep. Strapped in a helmet, each took turns trying to grab onto the wool and ride as far as they could. Only one of the kids started crying, and the sheep seemed happy to get the snots off their back. It was indeed the perfect blend of animal cruelty and child abuse.
something like this
2. A Monkey rode a dog...and they called him the Monkey Cowboy. He would hold onto the sheep dog as the dog corralled all the sheep into a certain part of the arena. To say the least, it was the most entertaining thing I've seen this year. The monkey's name is Whiplash (aka the world's smallest cowboy). I thought it was great. In fact, Linsey, who went with us, said that when she was a kid, that same monkey used to ride at rodeos that she would be in...which means that this monkey has been in the business for some 20+ years.Which begs the question...exactly how long do monkey's live?

And you know what...I can honestly say that up until this point in my life, I've never come to a situation where I've needed to ask myself that question. How long does a monkey live?
Maybe if I was harvesting monkeys for fritters or trying to clone them or something would I need that kind of information...but now I'm curious.

Turns out 'ole Whiplash is a White-headed Capuchin which apparently can live to be over 50 years old...and that's no monkey business.

Biscuit

Last night at church, I asked the students to pair up into groups of 3 to come up with either a skit, poem, or rap that exhibits the idea of perseverance. I didn't give any other guidelines, so where they went with this was completely up to them. The 6 groups came back with 3 skits, 2 poems, and 1 rap.

The rap made me cry a little bit from laughing so hard...I only wish I had captured it on video.
However, one of the poems was just as ridiculously awesome, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Ode to a Biscuit
by Emily F., Heather T., and Maisie S.

oh, my dear biscuit
covered in butter and honey
my love for you will endure
i will eat you my dear biscuit

my children will never go hungry
for your yeast will fill them

i love you my dear biscuit
without you life has no meaning
and if for one day i should not have you
i will carry on because i know
one day we will meet again

oh, my dear biscuit
strawberry jam is your color
when i skip down the road of hunger
you meet me there with a loving smile

biscuit...biscuit

biscuit, biscuit, biscuit
oh, how i love you
my dear biscuit

There was also an interpretive dance that went along with this poem.

Candy Bars

I don't buy chocolate a lot...almost never...

The only time is when I'm wanting to give some out to my students.

The other day, one of Trisha's friends who is finishing up a stint in Japan as a Journey(wo)man sent her some chocolate from there. It was a Japanese Kit Kat

I'm not sure what else the package says, but I believe it roughly translates to,
"You will surely win a ridiculously delicious sensation in your mouth."
The chocolate was pink.
The middle nougat was strawberry flavored.
...and it was heavenly.

I do hope they start selling them here in the states.

What's the best foreign candy you've ever eaten?

A Benediction

"Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us pray for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.
That all those that do justice and love mercy would say Amen. Say Amen. Say Amen."

Dr. Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, during the benediction at President Barack Obama's Inauguration Ceremony

Movie Trivia

You know how when you play Monopoly, there is that Community Chest card that says:

You have won second prize in a beauty contest

Collect $10

Everyone laughs and jokes about how it was a one-person contest...
you may blush a little, but nonetheless, you still get your $10.

Last week, I won second place in a contest.

Vision Video had a movie trivia contest where you had to answer 50 ridiculously absurd questions about movies from this past year. A few examples:

1. In “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, what vampire musical is performed near the end of the movie?
2. What is the hairstyle that Zohan gives himself on the airplane in Adam Sandler’s “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”?
3. In “Leatherheads”, what college did John Krasinski’s character attend?
   

I spent a good chunk of time on it, but apparently got all 50 of the questions right. Thus entering me into a drawing in which I claimed second prize.

1st Prize - 42" LCD TV
2nd Prize - Surround Sound System
Everyone else (25 other people) - One Free Rental a Week for a Year

I didn't win a TV. But I did get a surround sound system.

So I took my $10 and went home.

Trivia answers (in case you were wondering): 1. A Taste for Love 2. Frankie Avalon 3. Princeton

Chuck E Cheese

A few weeks ago, we decided to take our children's program (called David's Team) out to eat to celebrate a successful Christmas Program and just thank them for all of their hard work.

They were still out of school, so we knew we could do it during the lunch hour. As we talked about where we should take them, the idea of Chuck E Cheese came up. Perfect. After all, it is "Where a kid can be a kid." I did receive a few comments from the parents about special prizes floating around in the ball pit and how such and such magazine labeled it as one of the 10 most unsanitary places you can go in the world. Oh well.

We set the date and took them to the best place in the world to get mediocre pizza and play very expensive games and receive very cheap prizes. It was a blast.

Right before we left, I had one token left, so I decided that Trisha and I should go get our picture drawn on the Chuck E Cheese machine. We did. Here's the result.A kid right in front of us took 3 pictures in a row because he couldn't figure out where he was supposed to look for the camera and how long he was supposed to look there. I tried to coach Trisha before we sat down, but at the last second she looked away. I still love this picture though.

Near and Far

I was editing some wedding video footage the other day when I came across this little ditty that reminded me of something from my childhood. I tweaked it a bit to make it work. Maybe you didn't grow up on Sesame Street like I did, but this really took me back. Hope you enjoy. Near and Far.

Here's the original.

Thanks to my boy Matt for entertaining me on this one.

King of California

I watched this movie the other night (well...Trisha did too...kinda...she fell asleep and I had to recap it for her). If you haven't seen it, you should check it out.

A fresh-out-of-the-mental institution father and his emancipated teenage daughter venture together on a quest for an ancient Spanish treasure buried beneath their local Costco in this take on the modern family and the American dream.
- imdb.com

The main character, Charlie, uses a metal detector fervently in search of treasure. He's quirky and he gets on pretty strong kicks throughout the movie. I think I liked it so much because I bought my dad a metal detector for Christmas. . So, besides all of the mental problems, I could totally see my dad doing some of the stuff that Michael Douglas' character does in this flick. So, without ruining anything for you about the movie...check it out if you get a chance.

The Belt of Truth

On Sunday, our kids devotion was about putting on the Armor of God, from Ephesians 6.

I decided to play a giant board game with them.

Every kid took a plastic cup and designed their own game piece that represented them. Then, one by one, each kid would roll a die and move around the board by picking up while picking up the different pieces of the Armor of God. If you landed on a piece of armor, you got that piece. If anyone landed on it after you, they took the piece away from you. The object was to have the most pieces of armor at the end of the game.

Despite the flawed premiss of the game...

1. You should have your armor on before you leave start
2. You shouldn't steal from people
3. You especially shouldn't steal other people's armor
   

... it went well and the kids loved it

There was one particular incident that made me laugh hard.
One of the kids rolled the die and moved to the spot on the game board where the "Belt of Truth" was. As he bends over to put his game piece on the right spot, one of the kids behind him yells, "You need the Belt of Truth...I can see your crack."

That, my friends, is what the belt of truth is all about.

Ephesians 6:14
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist...

No Merchandise Beyond This Point

Trisha and I went to Borders today to look for a book. While there, a certain urge hit me that I needed use the restroom.

I made my way to the back of the store and walked through the alarm system as I read the sign, "No unpurchased books may be taken beyond this point."

My first thought was, "I actually considered bringing a book to read. Oh well."
My second thought was, "That would be pretty gross to by a used book from Borders."
My third thought was, "I guess I could go buy a book."
My fourth thought was, "I believe the worst possible world to live in would be the one where you can't read on the can."
My fifth thought was, "I think I'll watch The Cosby Show when I get home."

Leftovers

I love leftovers.

Thanksgiving leftovers.
Christmas leftovers.
Wednesday night meal leftovers.
Last night's dinner leftovers.
At other people's house leftovers.

There is just something about pulling some food out of the fridge and throwing it in the microwave for an almost instant delight. Over my years as a youth minister, I can count on one hand the amount of times that we've had leftovers at church and no one asked me to take them home to eat later. I'm not really sure where my fascination comes from, but I have a feeling that it has to do with the idea that when I eat leftovers, it's not costing me anything and thus I am saving money...which I support.

So to start the new year off, here's my list of the best and worst leftovers to eat in my book:

Top Leftovers:
Pizza (cold or hot)
Half a burger from a takeout box (this helps me justify spending a lot of money on a meal, if I split it between dinner one night and lunch the next day)
Bar-B-Que Sandwiches (good ole' sammiches)

Worst Leftovers:
Chicken Noodle Soup (never been a huge soup fan)
Chili (don't look at it in the tupperware too long or you might puke)
Salad (the leaves get all soggy and slimy)

What's yours?