Cowboy Monkey

Suzanne | Ross | Tom | Emily | Kara | Brian | Brad | Cat | Joseph | Linsey | Trisha | Myself

The 12 of us went to the Toughest Cowboy Rodeo over the weekend. We all piled in the cars with our getup and garb and made our way to the Gwinnett Arena. I wore my cowboy hat and my big Georgia G belt buckle...at first I was worried that I would be outed as an impostor (because, you see, I am no cowboy), but no one seemed to notice...either that or there were several more impostors in the mix and they were in the same position.
Only after watching the events of the rodeo did we figure out that we were indeed part of some sort of whack Rodeo Bachelor Reality TV Show. The cowboys were competing for some ranch land out in Montana, and each week they would add the 3 scores of their rides up (bareback horse, saddled horse, and bull), with the two lowest scorers having to go mano a mano in an elimination round. I tittered a lot. Especially when the rose ceremony started (ok, there wasn't really a rose ceremony, but it felt like it...spotlights, a straight line where the cowboys had to step forward, and one saying his goodbyes and walking into the sunset as he went to "hang his jersey.")

By far, the best part of the evening was in between the rodeo parts:

1. Kids tried to ride sheep. Strapped in a helmet, each took turns trying to grab onto the wool and ride as far as they could. Only one of the kids started crying, and the sheep seemed happy to get the snots off their back. It was indeed the perfect blend of animal cruelty and child abuse.
something like this
2. A Monkey rode a dog...and they called him the Monkey Cowboy. He would hold onto the sheep dog as the dog corralled all the sheep into a certain part of the arena. To say the least, it was the most entertaining thing I've seen this year. The monkey's name is Whiplash (aka the world's smallest cowboy). I thought it was great. In fact, Linsey, who went with us, said that when she was a kid, that same monkey used to ride at rodeos that she would be in...which means that this monkey has been in the business for some 20+ years.Which begs the question...exactly how long do monkey's live?

And you know what...I can honestly say that up until this point in my life, I've never come to a situation where I've needed to ask myself that question. How long does a monkey live?
Maybe if I was harvesting monkeys for fritters or trying to clone them or something would I need that kind of information...but now I'm curious.

Turns out 'ole Whiplash is a White-headed Capuchin which apparently can live to be over 50 years old...and that's no monkey business.

Biscuit

Last night at church, I asked the students to pair up into groups of 3 to come up with either a skit, poem, or rap that exhibits the idea of perseverance. I didn't give any other guidelines, so where they went with this was completely up to them. The 6 groups came back with 3 skits, 2 poems, and 1 rap.

The rap made me cry a little bit from laughing so hard...I only wish I had captured it on video.
However, one of the poems was just as ridiculously awesome, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Ode to a Biscuit
by Emily F., Heather T., and Maisie S.

oh, my dear biscuit
covered in butter and honey
my love for you will endure
i will eat you my dear biscuit

my children will never go hungry
for your yeast will fill them

i love you my dear biscuit
without you life has no meaning
and if for one day i should not have you
i will carry on because i know
one day we will meet again

oh, my dear biscuit
strawberry jam is your color
when i skip down the road of hunger
you meet me there with a loving smile

biscuit...biscuit

biscuit, biscuit, biscuit
oh, how i love you
my dear biscuit

There was also an interpretive dance that went along with this poem.

Candy Bars

I don't buy chocolate a lot...almost never...

The only time is when I'm wanting to give some out to my students.

The other day, one of Trisha's friends who is finishing up a stint in Japan as a Journey(wo)man sent her some chocolate from there. It was a Japanese Kit Kat

I'm not sure what else the package says, but I believe it roughly translates to,
"You will surely win a ridiculously delicious sensation in your mouth."
The chocolate was pink.
The middle nougat was strawberry flavored.
...and it was heavenly.

I do hope they start selling them here in the states.

What's the best foreign candy you've ever eaten?

A Benediction

"Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us pray for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.
That all those that do justice and love mercy would say Amen. Say Amen. Say Amen."

Dr. Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, during the benediction at President Barack Obama's Inauguration Ceremony

Movie Trivia

You know how when you play Monopoly, there is that Community Chest card that says:

You have won second prize in a beauty contest

Collect $10

Everyone laughs and jokes about how it was a one-person contest...
you may blush a little, but nonetheless, you still get your $10.

Last week, I won second place in a contest.

Vision Video had a movie trivia contest where you had to answer 50 ridiculously absurd questions about movies from this past year. A few examples:

1. In “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, what vampire musical is performed near the end of the movie?
2. What is the hairstyle that Zohan gives himself on the airplane in Adam Sandler’s “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”?
3. In “Leatherheads”, what college did John Krasinski’s character attend?
   

I spent a good chunk of time on it, but apparently got all 50 of the questions right. Thus entering me into a drawing in which I claimed second prize.

1st Prize - 42" LCD TV
2nd Prize - Surround Sound System
Everyone else (25 other people) - One Free Rental a Week for a Year

I didn't win a TV. But I did get a surround sound system.

So I took my $10 and went home.

Trivia answers (in case you were wondering): 1. A Taste for Love 2. Frankie Avalon 3. Princeton

Chuck E Cheese

A few weeks ago, we decided to take our children's program (called David's Team) out to eat to celebrate a successful Christmas Program and just thank them for all of their hard work.

They were still out of school, so we knew we could do it during the lunch hour. As we talked about where we should take them, the idea of Chuck E Cheese came up. Perfect. After all, it is "Where a kid can be a kid." I did receive a few comments from the parents about special prizes floating around in the ball pit and how such and such magazine labeled it as one of the 10 most unsanitary places you can go in the world. Oh well.

We set the date and took them to the best place in the world to get mediocre pizza and play very expensive games and receive very cheap prizes. It was a blast.

Right before we left, I had one token left, so I decided that Trisha and I should go get our picture drawn on the Chuck E Cheese machine. We did. Here's the result.A kid right in front of us took 3 pictures in a row because he couldn't figure out where he was supposed to look for the camera and how long he was supposed to look there. I tried to coach Trisha before we sat down, but at the last second she looked away. I still love this picture though.

Near and Far

I was editing some wedding video footage the other day when I came across this little ditty that reminded me of something from my childhood. I tweaked it a bit to make it work. Maybe you didn't grow up on Sesame Street like I did, but this really took me back. Hope you enjoy. Near and Far.

Here's the original.

Thanks to my boy Matt for entertaining me on this one.

King of California

I watched this movie the other night (well...Trisha did too...kinda...she fell asleep and I had to recap it for her). If you haven't seen it, you should check it out.

A fresh-out-of-the-mental institution father and his emancipated teenage daughter venture together on a quest for an ancient Spanish treasure buried beneath their local Costco in this take on the modern family and the American dream.
- imdb.com

The main character, Charlie, uses a metal detector fervently in search of treasure. He's quirky and he gets on pretty strong kicks throughout the movie. I think I liked it so much because I bought my dad a metal detector for Christmas. . So, besides all of the mental problems, I could totally see my dad doing some of the stuff that Michael Douglas' character does in this flick. So, without ruining anything for you about the movie...check it out if you get a chance.

The Belt of Truth

On Sunday, our kids devotion was about putting on the Armor of God, from Ephesians 6.

I decided to play a giant board game with them.

Every kid took a plastic cup and designed their own game piece that represented them. Then, one by one, each kid would roll a die and move around the board by picking up while picking up the different pieces of the Armor of God. If you landed on a piece of armor, you got that piece. If anyone landed on it after you, they took the piece away from you. The object was to have the most pieces of armor at the end of the game.

Despite the flawed premiss of the game...

1. You should have your armor on before you leave start
2. You shouldn't steal from people
3. You especially shouldn't steal other people's armor
   

... it went well and the kids loved it

There was one particular incident that made me laugh hard.
One of the kids rolled the die and moved to the spot on the game board where the "Belt of Truth" was. As he bends over to put his game piece on the right spot, one of the kids behind him yells, "You need the Belt of Truth...I can see your crack."

That, my friends, is what the belt of truth is all about.

Ephesians 6:14
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist...

No Merchandise Beyond This Point

Trisha and I went to Borders today to look for a book. While there, a certain urge hit me that I needed use the restroom.

I made my way to the back of the store and walked through the alarm system as I read the sign, "No unpurchased books may be taken beyond this point."

My first thought was, "I actually considered bringing a book to read. Oh well."
My second thought was, "That would be pretty gross to by a used book from Borders."
My third thought was, "I guess I could go buy a book."
My fourth thought was, "I believe the worst possible world to live in would be the one where you can't read on the can."
My fifth thought was, "I think I'll watch The Cosby Show when I get home."

Leftovers

I love leftovers.

Thanksgiving leftovers.
Christmas leftovers.
Wednesday night meal leftovers.
Last night's dinner leftovers.
At other people's house leftovers.

There is just something about pulling some food out of the fridge and throwing it in the microwave for an almost instant delight. Over my years as a youth minister, I can count on one hand the amount of times that we've had leftovers at church and no one asked me to take them home to eat later. I'm not really sure where my fascination comes from, but I have a feeling that it has to do with the idea that when I eat leftovers, it's not costing me anything and thus I am saving money...which I support.

So to start the new year off, here's my list of the best and worst leftovers to eat in my book:

Top Leftovers:
Pizza (cold or hot)
Half a burger from a takeout box (this helps me justify spending a lot of money on a meal, if I split it between dinner one night and lunch the next day)
Bar-B-Que Sandwiches (good ole' sammiches)

Worst Leftovers:
Chicken Noodle Soup (never been a huge soup fan)
Chili (don't look at it in the tupperware too long or you might puke)
Salad (the leaves get all soggy and slimy)

What's yours?

SoulJahs

A few buddies of mine are in a Christian rap group called, "SoulJahs of the Cross."
Chuck and Walt are some old college buddies and they've been using their music to tell people about Jesus for a few years now. I've heard them a few times and I think they're pretty good (not that my rap expertise is all encompassing). I do know that all my students love them and are looking forward to hearing them again here in Athens in February.

They are playing a concert tonight up in Gainesville, so if you are in the area, (and you are between the age of 6-14), then you should check them out.

PS. Happy New Year

Christmas Traditions

Christmas Day has come and gone. For Trisha and I, it was our first as a couple and we’ve been trying to figure out what kind of Christmas traditions we want to start as a family. But the more we think about it, you can’t really make Christmas traditions...they just start.

A forced tradition isn’t really a tradition at all. Think about it.

Did someone just decide one day to cut down a tree outside and make it free standing inside the house so that they could hang things that glitter on it year after year?


Did someone just decide that they were going to stuff little candies and trinkets in an old sock every year and hang them over the fireplace?

Did someone just decide that families would stand at the front of the church and light five candles on a wreath to represent the coming of Christ every year?

No. Somewhere along the way, these actions became traditions. These little decisions to do something different caught on. They became a part of Christmas. They weren’t forced. They weren’t declared mandatory. It was something that shaped year after year.

(It’s like my old english teacher used to tell me. You can’t have a “First Annual Fundraiser.” That makes it redundant. If it’s the first one, then it isn’t annual yet.)

There is this passage in Mark 7 where Jesus is talking with the pharisees about tradition. They are griping because the disciples hadn’t washed their hands ceremonially before eating at the marketplace (sounds like my mom). It was a tradition that the pharisees had taken part in for who knows how long and they were grilling Jesus about it. Here’s his response,

So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, "Why don't your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with 'unclean' hands?" He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:" 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.' You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men." And he said to them: "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! ...Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that." (Mark 7:5-9,13)

What kind of traditions do you have? What kind of traditions are starting to take shape?
Most importantly, are these traditions nullifying the Word of God?
Have you let go of the commands of God to hold onto the traditions of men?

My prayer for you is that in all of your traditions (Christmas or New Years or Easter on Monday or the third Saturday of every month...whenever) that you aren’t nullifying the Word of God.
My prayer is that the traditions you and your family take part in seek to praise the name of Jesus and that your traditions are full of honor and glory to God and God alone.

Disclaimer: I usually wash my hands before I eat...
not because of tradition, but because I’m a pretty gross boy.

Merry Christmas

We hope you remember to focus on Christ throughout the season.

Christmas Dips

I think my favorite part of Christmas is all of the parties that you get to attend and eat finger foods...aka dinner for that night. There is something so enticing about satisfying your hunger without spoon or fork...only toothpicks.

There are Sausage balls and Pigs in a Blanket and Crackers out the wahzoo.
And, oh the dips. I do love the dips.

Spinach dip. Cheese dip. Crab dip. Shrimp dip. Guacamole dip. Sour Cream dip. Lobster dip. Chili dip. Salsa dip. 7 Layer dip...shall I go on?

My party strategy looks like this:
Stay away from the nuts...who knows how many fingers have touched those nuts.
Stay away from the sweets for the most part...allows more room for the dips.
Always keep your toothpicks...you never know when you might need to ward off the occasional finger food snatcher or the inevitable spinach debris.
Find a chair close to the snack table...it allows for easier access to seconds and thirds.
Look for larger plates...they'll always try to shaft you with the coaster sized ones. Go in the kitchen cabinets if you have to.

Good luck this Christmas season...happy dipping.

Here's My Top 10 Christmas Party Finger Foods.

1. Sausage Balls (more sausage than ball, though)
   
2. Pigs in a blanket (usually 5 or 6 at a time)
   
3. 7 Layer Dip (I can't tell you all 7 layers, but I can tell you that it creates a party in my mouth)
   
4. Tortilla Pin Wheels (you know...they are like miniature pitas with cream cheese)
   
5. Meatballs (what a gross name for a food...but so literal...and so yummy)
   
6. Cream Cheese Dip with Salsa (the pink color adds a nice eclectic feel to the food table)
   
7. Shrimp Cocktail (I literally have vivid visions of my dad wrapping shrimp up in a napkin and stuff them in his pocket as we left parties as a kid...I do the same thing...thanks dad)
   
8. Potato Skins with Cheese and Bacon (especially with sea salt crusted on the skin...gotta follow it up with sour cream though or otherwise you'll get dried up quickly)
   
9. Celery with Ranch Dressing (this is my healthy snack)
   
10. Cheese ball with Club Crackers (It looks more like a ball of play-dough that has been rolled in a dust pile...but you can never have too many club crackers)

Did I miss any?

Wedding Videography

So...

I've been doing wedding videography for some time now (4-5 years) and Trisha and I have decided to try and put a little more promotional effort into it to try and get our name out there.

That being said, I've redesigned my website to try and appeal to those looking for Wedding Videographers.

www.brodybearden.com

Check it out. Give me some feedback. Tell me what you think. Tell your friends who are getting married. Tell your enemies who are getting married.

I'd love to be of service.

Cereal

I was eating some *Lucky Charms today when I thought about how I really wanted some Cap'n Crunch Berries instead. And then I thought about how great it would be if Cap'n Crunch Berries had marshmallows in it like Lucky Charms. So I decided to experiment.

I ate all of my Luckies, but none of the Charms (that is, I ate the crunchy stuff and left the mallows). Then I went and poured some **Cap'n Crunch Berries in on top of the mallows.

What ensued was the equivalent of a glow-stick dance rave in my mouth. It was exquisite.

*ok, they weren't Lucky Charms, they were Marshmallow Mateys, the off brand that you can buy in a 10 gallon sack for the same price and eat for decades...

**ok, it wasn't Cap'n Crunch, it was Berry Colossal Crunch...see note above for description.

&

If we made our own, then we could call it "Colossal Marshmallow Crunch."
I'd buy that.

Anna's Coming Home

(rss readers click to watch video)

My sister, Anna, has been in Madagascar since August.
She comes home this Wednesday.
We are throwing her a
"Welcome Home/Happy Birthday/Merry Christmas/Happy Kwanzaa" party.

It's this Thursday, so if you are interested in welcoming her back...then give me a shout.

Sleeping Arms

In my tossing and turning the other night, I went to sleep on my arm.
My arm returned the favor and "went to sleep" on me.

It's not very funny, nor does it feel good. The best I can describe it is that it's just weird.
I could feel the dead weight hanging off the side of the bed in the early hours of the morning.

My first response was to check and make sure it was still attached...my right hand assured me that it was.
My second response was to move it back on the bed and "wake it up."

Half asleep, I take my right hand and go to grab my left arm from it's dangling position.
I toss it back on the bed.

Suddenly, my arm comes flying towards my head and whacks me in the face...only, I don't realize it's my arm. I think that I've just been accosted.

Remember, I'm still asleep...and so is my arm. Which means, at 4 in the morning my senses aren't at their peak and without feeling in my arm, I feel as though someone has just violated me with a very fleshy foam baseball bat.

I sit up a little bit and look around the room, trying to figure out what...or who just hit me in the head.

It was then that I realized that it is way too early.
It was then that I realized that an arm asleep is really a ridiculous feeling.
It was then that I realized that I am an idiot.

A Physical

I'm no magazine model, but I feel like I'm in pretty good shape. There are a few extra pounds packed on here and there, but overall, I keep my body pretty healthy. I exercise, try to eat right, and get plenty of sleep. But I turned 26 this year and decided that it was time that I go get a physical.

Let me share my experience.

I arrive 15 minutes early to fill out paper work. Done.
I turn it in and the receptionist informs me that there is a co-pay. Ok, I expected that.
"Can I use a card?" I ask.
"No," she responds, "but we do take cash and checks."
Hmm. That caught me off guard. No cards. Just checks and cash.
"If you want to run to the ATM, then you'll have plenty of time to get back for your appointment," she says.
"I think I'm just gonna go search for coins in my car."
7 minutes later I walk back in the door with my dollars, quarters, dimes and buffalo nickels ready to pay my dues.

Eventually, the nurse calls me back and does some preliminary checks since it's been a long time since I've been to the doctor. She takes my weight, checks my ears, listens to my blood pressure...all good fun.

Her first question is, "So what's wrong with you today?"
"Nothing," I respond.
"What?"
"I'm good. I feel good. I haven't been sick. I just wanted to get a checkup/physical/tell me I'm not gonna die since I have some time." I didn't really feel like I needed to justify my visit, but apparently the look of confusion on her face lead me to do so anyways.
"So you aren't sick?" She scratched her head. "Usually we have to drag people in here kicking and screaming when they aren't sick."

Neat.

The plethora of information that follows is a quick summary of any high school health class mixed in with a little Wikipedia and WebMD. Don't drink, Don't smoke, Do wear your seat belt, Do eat an apple a day.

To get good results about my physical condition, they have to do some blood tests. Since I didn't know this, she informs me that the doctor will probably get me to come back in after I have fasted for the previous 10-12 hours.

"Crap," I thought "I have to come back."

She leaves. I wait.

As I'm sitting there, I begin to think about it. Wait a second. I didn't eat breakfast this morning. The last thing I ate or drank was last night, so theoretically, I have been fasting...just without knowing it.

The doctor comes in. I inform him of my revelation. He tells me that a good weight for me to maintain is when I stand in the mirror with my profile that my stomach is completely flat.

I laugh and laugh and laugh...silly doctor.

He does the rest of the physical stuff with breathing and tapping my stomach (which sounded like an oil drum) and making me follow his finger with my eyes. There was no "turn your head and cough"...which I appreciated. He tells me it was good to see me and the results will be back tomorrow.

Nurse reenters with all of her blood drawing gear and the festivities commence.
I lay my arm across the table and she pricks my elbow pit (does that have a real name?)
I watch in amazement. The sight of blood doesn't bother me, so as it draws up into the vial, I take interest.
She fills the first one up and I start to think..."Hey, this isn't too bad."
I can feel it being pulled out and it gives me a weird tingling sensation. It's crazy how your body works.
Half way through the second vial I'm starting to feel it. I haven't eaten in half a day. I've got nothing in me and this woman is sucking my life juice out. I begin to feel like a mortal kombat character is performing some sort of fatality on me as my determination and amazement slowly turns into woozy and lightheadedness.

"Do I get a cookie for this?" I ask.
"No, but you can have a lollipop" she quips back.
"I think I'm going to deserve two lollipops when I'm done."

Vial three. "Holy crap. Are you going to take ALL of my blood? Can I keep some as a souvenir? I felt fine when I came in, but I'm going to feel like a zombie when I walk out."
These are all of the things I said...

...in my head.

"You are starting to look a little pale," she questions, "Are you going to pass out?"
"We'll see"

and done. She gets the blood. I get a wet paper towel to put on my forehead as I stick it between my legs to regain composure. The sweat that breaks out pushes me to sprawl across the doctor's table as I think about loss of blood and why that could really be a problem when people get in accidents.

I get my lollipopS (one green, one yellow).
Each of the senior office ladies decides to chime in on just how pale I look.
"Thanks." Your tan isn't what it used to be either.

I made it out alive and I was pretty proud of myself.

After sharing this story with my dad, it turns out that I'm a pretty big wimp.
Apparently, the amount of blood that they took out of my arm wasn't nearly enough to fill even a shot glass...much less provide a sizable enough donation to a blood bank.

So maybe I'm not so tough.
Maybe I'm not the best blood taker in the world.
Maybe I'm not as fit as I thought I was.

But I will tell you one thing...

I got TWO lollipops.