Impersonations

Here's a great impersonation...

It's Chuck Dowdle...

impersonating Will Ferrell..

.

impersonating Harry Carey...

talking about picking up trash when you tailgate.

My Funny Story of the Day

Here's a guest post for you...Trisha's wanted to write a blog for quite some time. I've tried to get her to start her own thing, but to no avail, so I'm giving her a chance on here...so here it goes.

I have this comment that I make to Brody from time to time asking him if he wants to hear “My Funny Story of the Day”. I often mention that I should blog about some the stories, so tonight I decided to do so.

So, here is My Funny Story of the Day:

I work with this awesome lady named Gwen. Super cool lady, outgoing, personable, LOVES the Lord,..and works in prison ministry…yes, I said prison ministry. Today over our awesome convo, she shared a few amazing stories from her time in the prison ministry. Stories that gave me chill bumps, that made me tear up a bit, and one story in particular that made me laugh…out loud.

One evening she was at a prison in Lousianna just hanging out and speaking with the women there. A shorter, much older, stern looking woman came up to her with a pondering look on her face. Gwen said, “hello” and from there the woman responded with, “I hear you know a lot about the Bible. Well, I got a question for you.” Gwen replied with, “let’s hear what you’ve got.” The lady proceeds to ask this question: “So when I get outta this place…and I get out there and get me a man…what kinda sin am I gonna be committin? Is it adultery? Or fornication? What’s the difference between the two?”

Gwen, pausing, slightly giggling to her herself due to not expecting that blunt or specific of a question, responded with, “It depends. Are you married?”

The woman leaned back, gained her thoughts and said, “Well, I’m a home-made widow, so I guess not.”

Yes, folks…HOME-MADE WIDOW. I laughed. Yes, this woman was in prison for first degree murder of her husband and she called herself a ‘home-made widow’. Too funny.

But it doesn’t stop there.

After Gwen realized the implication behind her statement (and holding back her humor she found in the statement), she then asked, “ma'am, how much longer do you have of your sentence here in prison?”

The woman responded by saying that she received a one hundred year sentence and had a good bit of time left. Gwen’s final response and wisdom to share with the woman was she didn’t think she needed to worry about the difference J

That, my friends (or Brody’s friends) is my ‘funny story of the day’

Thanks and come again.

Youth Minister

I've been a youth minister for 6 1/2 years now. It's crazy to think it's been that long.

When people ask me what I do, and how I spend most of my time, I've come to realize that its kind of like the Utility Man in baseball...you play all the positions on the field.

I came across this video the other day that pretty much sums it all up. So here it is:

The life of a Youth Minister

That's my job.

Housage

We bought a house.

(note the new address)

Our grand entrance (don't worry, we've trimmed the hedges)

Our garage

Our vaulted living room

Our screened in porch

Our kitchen

The Master Bedroom...

where the magic happens...and by magic, I mean sleeping

The Master Bath

There are two other bedrooms and a bath that I didn't quite capture with film. If you are really curious, you'll just have to come by and see it.

Our first project is removing the horrendous wallpaper. That part is done. It was a bit of a pain, but we are on our way. We'll be painting soon so I'll give you before and after pictures in another update.

Also...there is a huge yard that you may or may not be able to make out in the pictures. If you have any yard tools you want to rid yourself of, let me know.

So...all this to say that if you are ever in the Athens Area and you need a place to crash, give me a call. We'd love to share with you.

Update: House Hunting

We spent an hour and a half with a mortgage broker yesterday.
We spent another hour or so at Home Depot looking at tile, appliances, carpet, paint, lawn mowers, sheds...you name it.
(I'm pretty sure Trisha grabbed 60 different paint color sample cards)
We spent the rest of the evening waiting to hear back about our bid.

10:30 this morning we found out we didn't get the house...

A little deflating...especially after contemplating porcelain vs. ceramic tile on a house we didn't even own yet...

But, alas, there'll be other ones.
In the words of Brian, in Saving Private Brian

There's a lot of fish in the sea.
It's always darkest before the dawn.
If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

So, it's back to the drawing board...or searching board...or at least looking board.
Off to find another house.

House Hunting

Trisha and I found a house that we are considering making an offer on....

Did I really just say that? It's crazy to think about having a mortgage, where up until now the most expensive thing we've purchased together has been a mattress. Scary.

Nonetheless, the immense amount of stimulus money being handed out, packaged with the great interest rates, wrapped in the deals that foreclosures bring, and sprinkled with our desire to have a place of our own that we can minister in and with has led us up to this point.

So...here's what I want to do...I'm gonna give you some pictures of the "potential" house to look at, and you give your thoughts....

Ready, Set, Go...

Here's the house...it's quaint...it's on main street


There is this wicked awesome pecan tree on the left side...
have I ever told you how much I love pecans?

This is the driveway side of the house. It has a back deck that opens out to this side.
There is also a little pond on the far left of the picture that was built in.
It's home to a lot of mosquitoes right now.


From the far back corner of the property...more than likely where I would have some sort of shed/barn/man cave. It's got quite a yard too.


The deck itself would serve as quite the entertainment area with plenty of room for a grill, table, umbrella and jacuzzi??? (I'm kidding about the jacuzzi...or am I?)


This bay window is the outside of the kitchen breakfast table area...it's a nice touch.


Back around to the front of the house, we have the front porch.
It's not huge, but we may be able to squeeze a rocking chair on there.


As we head into the house, this is a view looking back towards the front door.
This is standing in the kitchen with the hallway is there on the left, a nice mail sorter there in the middle and an entrance to the dining room on the right.


This is the kitchen breakfast area with the laundry room veering off to the left. You can see the back door as well, leading out onto the deck. (I'm not a fan of this wallpaper)


Here is the kitchen...we will need a refrigerator. This also triples the amount of cabinet space that we currently have.


This is the dining room area. We aren't very big on dining rooms, but it has a nice touch and we do like the hardwood floors. Perhaps we could open it up and make a gigantor living room someday.


And here is the living room. Yes , it is very bright, and yes those windows are huge, and yes it is painted baby diarrhea green...sorry for the imagery...but it is really a gross color....
We're already taking into account the cost of buying paint.


And now for the upstairs...


Bright colored room number one...


Bright colored room two...


The 2nd bathroom (also upstairs).
ps. I failed to take a picture of the downstairs half bath


The master bedroom...not huge, but a good size
In the words of some of my youth, "That carpet is narsty."
We'll have to buy some new carpet so we can walk without shower shoes


The master closet...which is fairly deep...and it has a window....
not really sure why, but there's one in there.


And lastly, the master bathroom...it's got a toilet tucked away to the left, a shower/bath to the right and this double vanity....and again, I believe with all my heart that all wallpaper containing floral patterns as such should be banned from the United States.

Well there you have it.
This is the house we are looking at and might just possibly put a bid on.

So what do you think? It's a little bit of a fixer upper...
Do you think it's manageable?
Can you see this as the future Bearden residence?

Buttons

I was cleaning through some old stuff in my office recently when I came across something...a button.

During college, I got my hands on a Badge-a-Mint machine. It makes buttons. Maybe you've never experienced one of these machines, but for me, it gave me the same sensation that my deep fryer does...whatever it is, deep fry it...whatever it is, button it.

So I made buttons, four of them to be precise. One for each roommate. Andrew, Cal, Matt, & Myself. My thought process was this: 1) We entertained a lot. 2)There were very few nights that we didn't have something going on and our apartment was always buzzing with people. 3) What better way to inform people of who we were and let people feel more welcomed...because after all, what says "Make yourself at home" better than well developed button?

The premise was that we could wear these buttons as name badges whenever we threw parties.
A ridiculous idea? Perhaps. Still worth trying? Absolutely.

Here's the result:

(ps. 2 Doors Down was the name of our apartment)

Good times.

Priorities

Trisha and I just bought a new bed...a King Size Simmons Beautyrest Super Plush Delightful Slice of Heaven I believe is the technical name for it. We did a lot of shopping around and are very happy with what we got. It was delivered yesterday, so last night was the first night we got to experience it.

On Saturday we were hanging out with some friends and one of them mentioned that a nice bed was the first big purchase they made as a couple....which made me think...

Our first big purchase as a couple was....

a TV...

That's when you know you've got your priorities in order.

The Collection of the King of Pop

This Saturday April 25, 2009, Julien's Auctions is auctioning off a plethora absurd amount of Michael Jackson's things from his Neverland Ranch.

An array of treasures from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch ranging from Michael Jackson's iconic white-jeweled glove to the grandiose entry gates to Neverland Ranch are being presented in a tour de force public exhibition boasting 1390 Lots conducted by Julien's Auctions. Beginning with a highlights tour to major cities worldwide, Julien's Auctions will host an 8 day museum quality exhibition at 9900 Wilshire adjacent to The Beverly Hilton open to the public on Tuesday April 14th through Tuesday April 21st 10am to 6pm PST daily. The auction begins on Wednesday, April 22nd and runs through Saturday April 25th at 9:00 am and 2pm PST daily.

One might wonder, what all is being auction off? Well, worry no more. They have made a 5 catalog complete display of EVERYTHING that is being auctioned.

It's definitely worth a gander...

And if you are feeling exceptionally overindulgent, then you can buy the actual catalog for an asinine price of $200 for the entire collection.
(warning: they may already be sold out)


Speaking of collections, if anyone wants to go in on a Galaga/Ms. Pacman machine then let me know

.

American Idol

Before this year, I had never watched American Idol. Sure, I'd catch glimpses here and there, but never go out of my way to take it all in.

Now since the inception and miracle that is DVR at my house, Trisha and I watch it most nights. We didn't get to see it last night (Uncle Sam was calling and we were running out of time) so today I decided to browse around and find out a general idea of what went on.

The first article that jumped out to me was one on MTV (which may negate any relevance of my interest) but as I was reading, there was one line that made me laugh out loud.

While Randy jibber-jabbers, Kara rambles about “package artists” and Paula reads from fortune cookies, Simon’s opinion, to many, is the only opinion worth listening to.* (MTV Newsroom)

Paula reads from fortune cookies...indeed she does...

You make music long time

Honeywagon

Two Sundays ago, a girl at church gave me a crayon drawing of a rainbow.

That same night, in our David's Team activity, I asked all the kids to draw their favorite Bible story on the concrete in chalk. 4 different kids drew a picture of Noah's Ark and the Flood.

At the time, I didn't realize that this was preparing me for my own flood of sorts.

Usher in the weekend full of heavy showers.
As it turns out, a lot of rainwater plus a septic tank placed too high equals impending doom.
As it's been so eloquently put, our toilet got tired of taking our crap and started giving it back.
Six Hours of mopping, vacuuming, and drying makes for a pretty lousy Saturday afternoon.

I just prayed that the rain would stop.

It did.

So bright and early on Sunday morning, I had another visit from my good buddy Darryl Allen of Darryl and Martha Allen Septic Tank Cleaning.
(I say "another" because he had been out once before...two years ago)

Do you know what a honey wagon is? If not, you should.
There you go, now you know. That's what Darryl does for a living.
(It ain't pretty, but somebody's got to do it)

Throughout it all I'm frustrated, but I keep going back to last sunday.
Noah's Ark and the Flood and the Rainbow Promise....
And now...my own flood.

My conclusion:
No matter what floods and storms come your way,
God remains faithful to His promises in scripture.

• He will never flood the earth again (Genesis 9:16)
• He will supply every need we have (Philippians 4:19)
• His Grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9)
• All things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)
• If you believe in Jesus and ask forgiveness from your sins, you will be saved (Mark 16:16 & Acts 2:38)
• He will give you eternal life if you are one of His sheep (John 10:27-28)

After a flood, that's a truth worth hearing.

PS. If you click on Darryl's website, they have a CD that they've made of them singing a song about the honey wagon and something about a goat. I consider them must haves of 2003.

Fantasy Baseball

It's that time of year.
Where players and stats and projections and sleepers and disappointments happen.
It's Fantasy Baseball Season.

One of the things I pride myself in is the creativity of my team name.
As it stands now, I'm in two different leagues.

1. College friends
2. High School friends
   

I don't have a name yet for my college friends league...that will be determined after our draft this weekend. However, in my high school friends league I've already picked out my team name: "Stop...Hameltime"
I did not come up with this name, I heard it somewhere else, so I decided that I needed to put forth the effort to at least be creative and design my own logo.
So, here it is.

Here's the original Hammer:

Here's the original Hamels:

I'm pretty sure my favorite part is how perfect the gold chain fits around Cole's neck.

Living the Dream

I'm in the middle of Swainsboro, GA right now...

Why? Because I'm hanging out with my wife while she is on the road.
In the midst of the all-encompassing extravaganza that is Swainsboro...I found myself...
flipping through the channels.

TBS - Family Guy - "seen that one"
TNT - The Closer - "I really can't stand her southern voice"
FX - XXX: State of the Union - "Vin Diesel is a terrible actor"
ESPN - Women's Basketball - "ugh"
TBN - Christian Television - "I preached on Sunday, so I think I've had my fill"

Wait...was that Darryl Strawberry?
That is. That's ole DS...and he's talking about Jesus on TBN.

That made my night


That...and the fact that Trisha and I split a Supreme Stuffed Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut and ate the entire thing by ourselves....

Just living the dream.

Youth Auction Update

The 6th Annual Spaghetti Supper and Youth Auction was a HUGE success.

From 4:30 until 9:30 pm we had:
140 people eating spaghetti and bidding on items.
22 students working their tails off to serve everyone.
15 adults directing and orchestrating kitchen, cleanup, and auction details.

The Result: We raised over $4K for Summer Missions.
(a 55% increase from last year)

How's that for a bad economy?!

Youth Auction

For the past two summers, I have led a mission trip to Reynosa, Mexico with my church. We spend time interacting with children in the Casa MAMi orphanage and building houses in "The Canal" which is essentially the sewage slums of Reynosa.
[Here's a video of what the canal is all about]

The Canal : Reynosa, Mexico from Bedouins International on Vimeo.

Each year we have to raise money to go on the trip with Harvest Evangelism, a ministry based out of Opelika, AL. Tonight (Saturday) is our 6th Annual Youth Auction and Spaghetti Supper, in which yours truly will serve as the auctioneer. This event has turned into one of our biggest fundraising events every year and the kids and church really looks forward to it. We've been working on it for some time now and I pray that it continues to be successful tonight. One of our biggest changes is that we want the whole night to really reflect why we are having the fundraiser in the first place. We'll have a slideshow from last years mission trip, missions updates to inform the people more about what we're doing and the need that's there, and signs everywhere to show them that what they give is going towards Kingdom growth.

It's so crazy how missions can totally alter the mind of a teenager (and adult, for that matter) and help them to see the world a little more clearly. I took 21 the first year and 24 last year on our trip and I've seen these kids' heart grow tremendously for the people of Mexico. They love it. My biggest prayer is that every person that experiences missions truly has their eyes opened to a world that truly needs a Savior.

It Snowed...a lot

We were at church...having a covered dish lunch when the flakes started falling. A sweeping gasp of excitement radiated across the room as the rain turned to snow the size of golf balls.

I didn't make it outside to frolic in the snow at church (I had my good shoes on), but once we got home we suited up and crossed the street to engage in some extreme snowball fights.
It really took me back to the good ole days back in 2004.

That actually might have been the last time I got to where my weather boots.

We did build a snowman, though...which come to find out is a lot harder than I remembered. I mean, I've seen a ton of Calvin and Hobbes cartoons where he pumps those things out in minutes.

It took us a good couple of hours...and then it was more of a snow pillar than it was a snowman in the end.

Nonetheless, we spent a majority of the rest of the evening hanging out, making Snow Ice Cream, and playing cards (Rummy and Rook).

Lambert

Trisha and I have been watching American Idol this season...I've found that it's a lot easier to watch when you have DVR. Seriously, think about it. The 2 hour show can be gotten through in about 45 minutes. The commercials are gone. The singers that make you cringe can be skipped in a heartbeat. The judges that really offer no value to the show *cough*Kara*cough* can be completely avoided. It really is an all around more enjoyable experience when the power is in your fingertips to speed up/slow down TV time.

As a side note...last night as they announced Adam Lambert as one of the Top 12, his last name began to ring in my ears. I've heard that name before. Where? Lambert...lambert...lambert....ah yes....from Disney.

One of the classics...Lambert the Sheepish Lion

Watch Here

Armbands

It's DNow Weekend. It's become a custom to buy armbands for the students as a little memento of the weekend. (as made famous by the Livestrong bracelets) It usually has a slogan or main theme to serve as a reminder of what was learned/taught/discussed throughout it all. (This year's theme is KNOWN: Knowing God, Making God Known) The bands also serve the double purpose of helping divide the students up into varying teams for our recreation time, as it is easy to forget which team you are on when there are 300 kids running around.

For the past three years, I've ordered from the company Reminderband. They've done incredibly well in their service and I've yet to be disappointed. In fact, earlier this week I was tracking the FedEx number. Monday morning at 11am it shipped out of Hong Kong. Tuesday morning at 10am it arrived in Anchorage, AL. Wednesday morning by 10:30am there was a FedEx guy knocking on my door, asking me to sign for a package...that's what I'm talking about.

I digress...

Last year, one of the students from the other churches came up to inform me that their bracelet did not say "Mythbusters" like it was supposed to.

"Brody, I don't believe I got the right armband."
"Oh yea," I respond?
"Yeah...mine says, 'In Memory of Victor Garcia'"
"You're right...that's not the right armband."

The best part about that story is that the student that came up to tell me that was from a hispanic church...in the words of their youth minister, "our church would get that one."

This year as I was dividing out all of the bands, I came across another anomaly.

"Ali & Ryan's Wedding 2009"

Somewhere in the world, hopefully, there is a bridesmaid or groomsman that is figuring out what it means to be "Known" by God.

Comedy Night Done Right

Thursday night is the "strongest night of television"...at least on NBC.

Since the 80s, shows like The Cosby Show and Cheers have graced families with air time together in front of the tube on Thursday evenings. Before my high school days, Seinfeld was the show to watch, because after all, it was a show about nothing. Then Friends entered the scene and captured the hearts of teens and adults alike. 52.5 million television sets tuned in to the finale in May of 2004 (I still remember watching it with some college friends). It really was Must See TV.

Now, we've stepped into a new era with Comedy Night Done Right...which brings me to the best show on television right now...The Office...followed closely by 30 Rock. Both of these shows deliver week after week with content, creativity, and all around ridiculously funny stuff. Sometimes I feel awkward, sometimes I can't stop laughing, sometimes I feel inspired to go and write my own episode. Nonetheless, these shows are, for me, what TV worth watching is all about.

Fact: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

As a side note. Last thursday, my wife and I watched The Office and 30 Rock with some friends. One of the big parts of 30 Rock was the shameless plug/advertisement for the McFlurry. They claimed it is the best dessert in the world.

Fast Forward to Friday night when Trisha and I are hanging out with a different couple at none other than McDonald's...and we are eating McFlurries. It didn't even register with me until I was half way through my succulent M&Ms McFlurry that we had indeed been duped.

Product placement does indeed work...