Battle for Vision

Have you ever fought a battle with something that seems to win over and over again, yet you continue to wage war with it? A lot of times it is something mundane or basic, yet it still tries to get your goat every time. I have. My battle is any body of water used for swimming vs. my contacts. It is a war every time.

I started wearing contacts my freshman year of college so I've had 7 years to refine my tactics. It usually goes something like this.

"Hey, let's go swimming."
"I'm down. Let me go get my swimsuit on."
5 minutes later.
"Canon Baaalllllllllll..."
SPLASH!!!
"Wait...Hold it...I can't find my contact. Where did it go? Can you see it in my eye? I think I may have lost it. I thought I closed my eyes, but I guess not. Maybe it's just shifted. I can only see with one eye now."

If you've ever worn contacts, then you know this feeling. Suddenly, within a blink of an eye (literally) you are blinded. Everything that you saw so clearly before has now become a blur and your entire world comes to a stop until you are able to find, replace, or restore your vision.

On this particular occasion, I was spending some time on the lake with some friends. We were out on the boat taking turns trying to knock each other off of the inner-tube in our very own King of the Hill game. We would bound back and forth between tubes trying to display our best impersonations of Indiana Jones, Lui Kang, and Spider Monkeys. It was a busy weekend as far as other boats being on the lake, so there were all kinds of waves knocking us around. At one of the sharp turns that our boat took, one of my friends and I both caught the wake of another boat that launched us 10 feet into the air. I immediately started laughing at the look on his face before I hit the peak of my ascent and then made my own face as we plummeted into the water, smacking against the surface and sinking several feet below. As we made our way to the surface, I noticed two things. First, the boat was leaving us in the water at a rapid pace. Second, I couldn't see out of my right eye. The first thing that went through my mind was that I didn't bring any extra contacts. The second thing that went through my mind was that I'm going to have some major headaches from blurred vision if I didn't find this contact. The third thing that went through my head was that the water got me again. Touche, water, touche.

After much blinking and rotating my eyes around to see if I could find it, I was finally able to locate it in the corner of my eye. Herein lies the predicament: I now have found my contact, however I am floating on top of a lake in my lifejacket with a wet contact sticking to my wet finger with no place to look into a mirror, no place to stand, and no way to tell if I've got it back in right.

For the next 5 minutes I unsuccessfully try to reinstall this eye device. In case you are wondering, because you've never worn contacts, it is extremely hard to get a contact off of a wet finger, especially while bobbing like a buoy. I am finally able to get the contact into my eye, but it is nowhere near being in place. I blink and I look one way and I look the other way and I blink some more. I close my eyes and circle them around my eyelids to try to get them in the right place. I even stick my finger back into my eye and try to force it to where it should go. Nothing works. I decide to get back in the boat and just Popeye it until we get back to the house and I can make it right.

As I swim to climb into the boat I blink one last time for good measure and suddenly everything is clear. I close my left eye to make sure that my mind isn't playing tricks on me and sure enough, my contact fell back into place. At just the last minute, when I didn't think I was going to be able to restore my vision, everything was clear again. I could see.

Thank you for playing, Water. That was quite the battle. You fought well. You knocked me down, but you didn't knock me out. Water = 0, Brody = 1.

So back to the tube pouncing I went.

I was proud. In fact, I still am. All of my fellow contact wearers in the boat also applauded my efforts noting that it was quite the feat to accomplish given the circumstances. That was my first time ever successfully putting in my contact while floating in the middle of a lake with wet fingers. I'm not sure if they have Guinness World Records for that, but I do believe that my performance would be noteworthy.
Vision...it's what makes the world go 'round. Sometimes you take advantage of it and fail to use it. Everything is blurry without it. If you don't have it, then you'll go nowhere. Vision is clear. Vision is bold. Vision brings insight to your life and the lives of those around you. Vision.

If you want to see how vision can really rock your world, read Acts 9.

You can do battle over and over again with your own vision, but until you allow God’s vision to align yours, blurriness is all you will see.

Less than 2 months

So...because someone mentioned this to me and I mentally slapped myself on the hand for not already having done this, I thought I would mention that I am getting married in less than 2 months. I also wanted to put a couple of pictures up just to show off how lucky of a man I am.

It's really incredible to be a part of this whole marriage concept and being able to recognize God's hand on everything to do with our relationship. I'm learning a lot and I've got a lot more left to learn, but man am I enjoying the ride.

Going Postal

The other day I was browsing in a local pawn shop when the bell indicating someone else had entered the store rang out. Usually, I wouldn't take too careful notice of who else was shopping with me, however this one caught my attention quickly.

It was a postal worker, decked out in full USPS attire (light blue shirt, dark blue shorts, black kicks). He walked straight to the back of the store, bypassing all electronics and collectibles, ending up in the gun section. I'm not opposed to guns, but somewhere along my childhood, the thought of mixing postal workers and weapons left a bad taste in my mouth.

You've heard of the concept, going postal, right? I shifted my whereabouts to something a little more protected (behind a shelf of DVDs) and I peered through the cracks to see what he was indeed doing. Turns out, he was carousing back and forth and looking at the different rifles on display. So I thought to myself..."this is so literal, it's ridiculous."

My father is a postal worker, so I know what they are capable of. So in my best interest, I decided that I didn't want to stick around to see if he bought a gun. I was better off far, far away. I put my selections back on the shelf and slipped out the front door.

I smile and wave at my postal worker more now...even when he puts my mail in the wrong box.

In related news, the cost of a stamp went up to $.42 today. I think I'm going to call my dad and chastise him for this absurd scalping of the American people.

They just don't make things like they used to

My sophomore year in college, one of my roommates bought a roll of trash bags. When he got home, it turned out that the bags were too small for the trash can...

So what did we do? The only logical thing...we sawed the trash can down to size...now they'll fit.

So we used those bags...and used them...and used them. Turns out this roll of trash bags was like a cage of rabbits, because the more we used, the more there were. The bags kept coming and coming...it must have been some 500 bags or something.

When we all graduated college and went our separate ways, each of the roommates left certain things behind for whoever wanted them. Since one of the guys got married, another moved to NYC, and the other worked camp all summer...most of those "leave behinds" fell to me. That roll of trash bags was one of them. The gift that keeps on giving.

I've still been using those bags ever since. The roll of trash bags has been getting smaller and smaller and the feeling of sadness had been creeping up on me, like when you are coming towards the end of a good book or when you are on the john and it doesn't appear like there is going to be enough roll to take care of the wipeage. I could sense the end.

Tonight it happened. They are no more. They served me well. The longevity was outstanding (approx. 5 years) and the durability was uncontested. It was everything a roll of trash bags was meant to be. Those trash bags will forever be ingrained in my mind as the best there ever was.

So in honor of said bags, I present this memorial...in haiku form

Oh, endless trash bags
Containing all of my waste
You finished the drill

Peanut Butter & Bacon

Yesterday, I ate a Peanut Butter and Bacon Burger. That's right, I said a PB & B Burger. Maybe you've had one too. They sell them at Clocked, in Athens. A few friends had informed me that this was a good choice, so I thought I'd try it out.

Trisha and I met up with a few friends and took part in this local delicacy. I was a little nervous at first, not because I am a picky eater, but because the idea of burgers and peanut butter wasn't something that jumped out to me. But those doubts were soon diminished...

It was incredible. It was a sensation that's hard to put into words, but I can tell you this: Eat one. It's called YAC's Peanut Butter and Bacon Burger. It's like dinner and dessert all wrapped up into one...and that makes things easy...and I like easy.

Not to mention, Clocked has the best tater tots I've ever eaten in my life.

So I know this sounds like some sort of review, or atleast plug, for Clocked. But in reality, I just felt like you should know.

And now I want another one...with Tots.

Oreoed

I got oreoed. What's that, you ask? It's where some culprits decide to buy some Oreo Cookies, split them in half, lick either side of the icing, then stick the cookie, cream side down, to the window of the car. So there you have it; I got Oreoed.

I came out late that Saturday night and saw that there was some serious nastiness all over my car. The next day, I found out who did it and that they used approximately 10 packages of Oreos. If you know me, then you can probably guess that I wasn’t really mad about having oreos all over my car. I was more upset that they would waste 10 packages of Oreos when I know that by myself I could have eaten at least 5 of those packages...shameful.

I drove to church that Sunday night with all 360 of those oreos still stuck to my windows. About 36 of them flew off and scattered all over the road between my house and the church. However, most of them were stuck pretty good, though. When I got to church, I told all of the 2nd through 5th graders that if they wanted cookies, they needed to go out and get them off my car. I was partly kidding. They, however, screamed and ran outside. I came out and saw about 7 kids hanging on my car and eating the oreos off of it...I probably should have stopped them...but I just didn't.

When I left church that night I went home and took a spatula to my windows to remove all of the cookies. They all came off and I threw them away. I rinsed the car off, patted myself on the back for taking it so well, then went to sleep. The next day on my way to school was one of the most blurry eyed drives I’ve ever taken. Each and everyone of those cookies left their icing residue firmly stuck to every inch of my windows. It was like my vision suddenly went from 20/20 to near blind. For one part of my morning commute, when the sun was shining straight through my front windshield, I literally had to stick my head out the window to see where I was going. After work that day, I finally took my car to the car wash and actually removed all ofthe junk that was blurring my vision.

You know, that whole ordeal is a lot like sin in our lives. We get this stuff, this sin, stuck in our lives. And we let it build up. And more often than not we don’t really take notice until it has gotten out of hand. Then we finally realize, “Hey, I should do something about this.” So we take our spatula of quick prayers and sunday sermons, we pat ourselves on the back and assume all is well. Yet we wake up day after day and there is this blurriness cast over our eyes and everything we do has this cream-filled taint to it, this coat of icing.

The truth of the matter is until you really clean it, and by really clean it, I mean really ask God for forgiveness and sincerely seek to make matters right and pure, then you will carry this coat of icing. But when you do ask God to clean you, there is this clarity and vision that helps you to really see life as it really is.

I pray that you get de-oreoed. My prayer is that whatever nastiness is giving you blurred vision, that you ask God to completely remove it and give you a new and clear vision for your life.

That's what I desire...
That and a glass of milk.

What's in a Name?

I got an invitation the other day for a shower...

It was addressed to:
Brodie Beerdan

What if...?
Fonetix are fun